He is Faithful

My husband and I will celebrate the big 10 (2 whole hands as my son would say!) years of being married this week. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long even though it feels like a lifetime of living has been packed into 10 short years. 3 moves, 3 churches, ministry highs and lows, infertility and 2 miracles through adoption have all been part of the adventure. I can look back and see God’s faithfulness through it all. I can especially see His faithfulness in the journey leading to marriage.

I remember the day very clearly- it was early December 2010. One of my closest friends had just gotten engaged to a guy that she met when we were on a single’s retreat. I was thrilled for them both because their story was just amazing. At the same time, I was sad. “A” was my LAST friend that was single- we did everything together and and she was a big part of my life. I was the only one who wasn’t married- again. I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, crying my eyes out to the Lord, as I was just so confused. I was genuinely happy for them both but I couldn’t help but feel like I was going to be single forever. Over the past 3 years, God had truly done a work in my heart and life about being content and living my life now instead of waiting for marriage. I was praying when the dam just broke. “You’ve done so much in my life, but I don’t know what else needs to happen. WHERE IS HE???” - one of the few times that I can remember just yelling out to God. I will never forget what happened next. This peace just washed over me and I heard the Lord whisper to my heart (and it truly felt like it was an audible voice.) “ What if he’s not ready yet? Just give me 6 months.” I told Him that I had no idea what 6 months meant- would I meet someone in 6 months? Be engaged in 6 months? I just knew that I had heard from Him but I wasn’t going to spend the next 6 months thinking that every guy that crossed my path was the one.

I spent the next 6 months just living my life as the big 30 quickly approached. I got a tattoo, and was planning mission trips to Rwanda and Brazil. Sometimes towards the end of April, I was talking to my best friend about being single and just being over dating. She asked me if I had tried online dating and I just laughed at her. I had done it before and let’s just say that it wasn’t for me. She strongly persuaded me to give it just one more try on a site that I hadn’t used before. I told her that I would give it a month- if I met someone, great. If not, I was done with it.

I signed up and created my profile. When I saw this one particular profile, I was intrigued. I had to click “yes, no or maybe” to get more profiles. I had only been on it 3 days so I had no idea what clicking yes meant, but I liked what I saw plus I wanted to see more profiles. I clicked yes and then a day later, I got a message that would change everything. There’s a lot of details in between communicating and actually meeting. Our first date lasted 6 hours! I had always heard people say that “when you know, you know” and I thought that was the dumbest thing ever. After 2 or 3 dates, I had to eat my words!!

We both knew pretty quickly that we wanted to get married. As the months passed by, I lost track of time. One day, I was talking to my friend and I asked her when she got engaged and she told me that it was December. It hit me and I quickly counted the months- December, January, February, March, April, MAY. 6 MONTHS to the day that the Lord had whispered that promise to me- I had met my husband! We were engaged in March 2012 and married 6 months later.

The way that God wrote our story still blows my mind sometimes. At the same time I was in my 3 year “wilderness” time of God working on my heart, my husband was in the middle of his own journey. We both weren’t ready yet. I had no idea at just how much God was working behind the scenes. He was weaving threads of faithfulness that would hold everything together.

Embrace This Day

As I get older, I’m realizing that I’m more of a control freak than I care to admit. I live by a “to do list” both on paper and in my head. I panic when something on the list doesn’t get done or when the list is endlessly growing. The past few months have shown me a glaring but harsh reality: I don’t really have control over anything at all. I can only control how I respond and react to the changing situations.

Yesterday was a crazy day at work. As I walked back into my office to wrap up the day, daycare called. Moms always have this sense of dread when they see that daycare is calling. My little one had gotten sick at daycare I needed to come get her. It was an hour until school was out and I had to scramble to get my son picked up from school. I couldn’t go to work tomorrow because she had to be 24 hours without vomiting. This is a really busy time at work so missing one day is like missing three. I was scrambling in my head to rearrange things and trying not to be aggravated or annoyed in the process.

This morning, I had a few minutes before everyone else was awake. My devotional was about how our hearts desire is not always what God wants and that selfishness is sin. Ouch. As I was reading, I simply prayed, “God, help me to embrace today.” I was able to take my son to school. I loaded up baby girl and went for a walk at the park where I was able to invite someone to church. I got to catch up with a dear friend. I was able to play with A and not worry about what wasn’t getting done. A has recently started crawling and is ON THE MOVE. I was constantly corralling her while trying to do laundry and a few other house things. We both took great naps. I had a choice today: grumble and complain about what couldn’t be done or embrace the unexpected moments and blessings of the day.

We really don’t have any control over our days. Sure, we can plan it out, block it on the calendar, fill it with a mile long to do list. but we fail to forget Who numbers our days. James 4:13-15 (NIV) says : Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

I’m learning to loosen the grip on my plans and come before the Lord with open hands and an open heart. Here’s to embracing the day.

At the Crossroads

I had no idea that it’s been since July since I blogged- time has gotten away from me and I think I’ve lost some weeks along the way.

Last week, I had an interesting experience (scary too) and I’m amazed at how God works- He does it every time. Our church is at a 4 way stop and it’s not uncommon for us to get knocks on the door from people that have broken down in front of the church. Last week, I was getting everyone ready for school and there was a frantic beating on the door- a woman was screaming that her boyfriend was chasing after her and going to harm her. I called the police and quickly realized that she was impaired and there was no one outside. The police arrived and confirmed it- no one was there and she was impaired. They left with her and that was that. We live in a very small area and everyone knows everyone (and is related to them!) I learned that the woman was deep into the pit of addiction. I did a little Facebook detective work and I was stunned when I realized who she was.

There is a dear family in our church who have become our second family. Their entire extended family has come together over the past few months to help another family member who got custody of their 3 grandchildren. These precious children have been coming to church since the spring , come to VBS and our children’s activities. I’ve seen the oldest one’s face light up as she got her first Bible (she’s the same age as my son) and the middle one be so excited when he learned that his name is a book of the Bible. They have been learning so much about Jesus and how He loves them.

I looked at her profile page and saw a picture of her and her children. I almost dropped my coffee cup. The woman who showed up at my door was the children’s mom! Before we learned who she was, my husband said “Better that she come to our house then end up in the ditch or on the side of the road. She’s someone’s daughter, maybe even someone’s mom.” When I looked at her picture, his words rang in my ears. We know her parents and she is someone’s daughter. We know her children and she is someone’s mom.

I don’t believe it was by accident that she ended up knocking on our door. She could have ran in 2 different directions that would have lead her onto dark roads, but instead she ran to the only place that had a light on and it just happened to be the same church where her children are learning about Jesus. I’m praying that this will be the first step to setting her free from addiction and into a new life of freedom.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

What's in a Name?

I’ve been encouraged by several people to actually blog more and to share lessons from our adoption journey. I promise that this blog won’t be completely about adoption but so many faith lessons that can be applied to multiple situations were learned through adoption.

I wanted to share the meaning and story behind our daughter’s name. I’ve loved the name from the moment that I heard it but how God displayed Himself through it is unbelievable. As soon as we started to trying to build our family, we had a girl name picked out. We had assumed that our first child would be a girl so imagine our surprise when we got the call about our son! We quickly chose the name Matthew, “gift from God”, which is fitting because we brought him home on my birthday.

Alora Kay was the name that we had in our hearts for nearly 9 years. During our infertility journey, I had a really rough day and took a nap on the couch. I had a dream of a little blonde headed girl on a swing wearing a hot pink puffer jacket. It was so vivid that it was almost real. A few weeks later, I actually found the jacket in a store and bought it. I decided to look up the meaning of Alora and it’s African for “my dream.” Put it together with my middle name (and mom’s middle name) and you get “My dream rejoices.” The fact that it is an African name is so special because shortly after my husband and I met, I went to Rwanda for 10 days. We communicated ALOT during that time because there was no way I wasn’t going to talk to him after just meeting (needless to say, the phone bill was expensive that month!)

When we found out that we were matched and it was a girl, we immediately knew what her name would be. When talking with the attorney, we learned that Kay was a family name for her birth family. After the mad dash to the hospital, we walked into the nursery to meet the little girl who would soon be our daughter. She was a tiny little thing with blonde hair. The next day, my husband and I were sitting in the NICU and he looked over at me and said, “You do realize that she has blonde hair? The dream of the little girl on the swing??” I was stunned. Things happened so fast with our match and her birth that I honestly had not even thought about that. We later learned that Alora also means “the Lord is my Light. “ We couldn’t have picked a more perfect name.

I was beginning to think that the dream of having a little girl (or even a second child) was never going to be a reality. I had forgotten about the dream, but He didn’t. I was losing hope but He saw the bigger picture. Yes, the dream came true but every time I look at our beautiful blonde headed miracle, I see God’s promise fulfilled and one of the most tangible evidence of His faithfulness.

A Thankful Heart

Eventually, I’ll get to where I write more than once a month! Life is crazy and busy as usual, Covid or not.

This is the time of year where we usually focus on being grateful and gratitude. Recently, I’ve found myself in a place of gratitude because of really hard things. I’ve written before about the death of my ex-boyfriend when I was a freshman in college and how that forever changed my life. It’s been 21 years so the date is not so hard as it used to be. I can remember looking at the calendar two months in advance and absolutely dreading Sept. 28. This year, however, was different- really different. I was talking about it with a counselor (counseling is a wonderful thing, even for the professional!) and how difficult the season that followed was. In one moment, everything that I hoped and dreamed for came crashing down and I found myself sitting in a pile of broken dreams. As we were talking about it and how it impacted and shaped my life, I was hit with this huge wave of gratitude and joy. Gratitude because of how God used the most painful and most defining moment of life to bring me closer to Him. I became a believer at 14 but my faith truly didn’t become real until I was in college and had to truly rely on the Lord for everything. Gratitude because I had a husband who truly is everything that I prayed for and more, gratitude because I was a mom, gratitude because I was truly living the life that I prayed for so long- I can’t tell you how many tear filled nights and prayers were prayed for those two things! The joy that came despite the hard times was a true joy that was rooted in gratitude.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) says “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” There are three commands (and not suggestions!) here:

Be Joyful always- find joy, gladness and delight constantly

Pray continually- always, not stopping

Give thanks in all circumstances- This one is a tough one and much easier said than done. It’s easy to be thankful when things are good, going the way we planned, without problems. However, this also means being thankful for the hard times- the really hard times. The hard times that leave you face planted before the Lord because that’s all that you know to do.

I’m not going to go into a long explanation of suffering- that’s for another post! There is suffering because we live in a fallen and broken world. It is God’s desire for us to be rooted in Him, to be joyful, to never stop praying, to be thankful because sometimes hard things happen. These hard things push us and force us to be joyful when we want to be the complete opposite. God longs for us to press harder, push deeper into Jesus- the source of our true Joy.

Walking the Path

I’m pretty sure that my son is part ninja. Almost every night at some point, he ends up in our bed. Most times, it’s a surprise to us because we don’t hear him enter our room or hear him climb into the bed. The first few times my husband and I were baffled as to how he did it. His bedroom is on the opposite side of the house so he has to make his way through the living room, kitchen and hallway to our bedroom and climb into our bed- IN THE DARK. (well except for the tv screen light.) One night, I caught him in action as he pulled himself up on the bed, crawled over me and then curled up in the middle (legs and elbows poking me the whole time!) I’m amazed at this because he’s created a little path and he knows the way, even in the dark and in his sleep.

I asked him the other day why he kept getting into our bed and he said “I was scared and I felt safe.” He knew the way to safety, to a place where he was loved. I have a clinical background in trauma and working with children from the “hard places.” A term that we talk about often is “felt safety.” It’s one thing for a child to know that they are safe: they have food, clothing, shelter, etc but an entirely different thing for them to feel safe. I saw this first hand with children who entered foster care. I worked at an emergency home and the first night and days there were rough. I would always make a point to get on their level and tell them that they had a roof over their head, food on the table, clean sheets, that someone would be here when they go to bed and when they wake up, and they were safe here. Yes, it was important that they heard it but they needed to feel it. Many times they learned to feel it by seeing it. They needed to see where they would eat, sleep, etc.

As I thought about my son’s response to my question, I realized that I’m just like him. How many times do I feel my way through the dark, trying to find my way to the safest place I can be- the arms of my Heavenly Father? So many times, I get lost. I can’t see past the circumstances that cloud my view, I get turned around because I’m listening to the wrong voices who try to give me directions, and I feel overwhelmed. There are many times when it feels like I’m walking in the dark. I keep walking the same path because I know where it leads.

Here’s the thing: I know where the path leads me or more importantly to Who. I’ve got a lamp to lead the way. (Psalm 119:105) I keep following the path to Jesus because not only do I know I’m safe but I feel safe. I know that our feelings can often lead us astray and aren’t 100% reliable, but feeling safe in the arms of Jesus is one thing that I know to be true.

I don’t know where you are today, but keep walking the path to Jesus, even if you have to walk it in the dark.

Run to the Father

Waiting

I’ve really got to get better at using this little space of mine- this is one of my goals while we’re on COVID-19 quarantine. School is out until mid April so I’m working from home and “home schooling” my kindergartner- I have such a great appreciation for teachers and those who homeschool!

Waiting seems to be the common theme in our life today. Waiting for the curve to flatten, waiting until life resumes some sense of normalcy (I have a feeling that this is going to give a new definition of normal), waiting for the next thing. Waiting often comes with a weight- usually we’re waiting for a burden to be lifted. Honestly, it seems like the past few years has been filled with waiting for my family- waiting to move, waiting on jobs, waiting on the adoption.

As much as I don’t like to wait, I think there are some lessons to be learned in the season of waiting.

1. We are commanded to wait on the Lord. In fact, the phrase “wait on the Lord” is mentioned in the Bible at least 40 times!! If something is important to know, it’s usually repeated. It’s how things are learned- by repetition. Psalm 27:13-14 (NIV) I remain confident in this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

2. We aren’t to be weak in our waiting. What I mean by this is that while we are waiting, we are to find our strength from the Lord and nothing else. That’s the only way that we can make it in the waiting. God will give us the strength to endure the “weight of the waiting”. (Isaiah 40:29)

3. Waiting isn’t passive. Just because God is calling us to wait, it doesn’t mean that we’re off the hook for doing anything.

4. God still requires action from us while we wait.

   We are to pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

   We are to rejoice. Rejoice in times of suffering, times of joy. (1 Thessalonians 5:16, James 1:2-3)

   We are to remain faithful. (Hebrews 11: 6) Our waiting is just for a season. Now, some seasons may be longer than others, but just like summer in the South doesn’t last forever, seasons end.

5. God meets our needs in the waiting, even when we become weary. (Jeremiah 31:25, Isaiah 40: 29-31) He gives strength when we need it the most.

I don’t know what season of waiting you’re in, but just know that you aren’t alone in the season and it won’t last forever. Don’t waste the waiting- I promise there’s a lot that God wants to teach us!

The Year of Less

I have got to get better about posting here! It’s been very hit or miss with posting and that is not what I intended for this space- hopefully that will change this year.

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, mainly because they fail 80% of the time and then I usually have this wake up moment 6 months into the year and remember my resolutions. I’ve also done a word of the year the past few years. Last year was intentional. I had set a few goals with that: intentional with family, my walk with the Lord, my health. The biggest result of being intentional was with my health- with the reality of blood pressure medicine at 37, I realized that something had to change. I made some pretty drastic lifestyle changes with the help of a health coach and lost 30 pounds! I still ended up having to be on blood pressure medication (thank you family history and a stressful job!) but overall, I feel so much better.

I wanted going into 2020 to be different this year, especially because I know that I’m wrapping up my 30’s and 40 is quickly approaching for my husband and me (but he gets there first this year- I have another year!) All of my grandparents lived well into their 80’s and I know that we never know how long we’ll live, but it’s quite possible I’ll live past 80 if Jesus doesn’t come back first. So I’ve essentially lived half of my life. As I was reflecting on the last decade, I realized that there was a lot of life and living packed into ten years and really into the last 30.

I’ve been thinking about how I wanted to end my 30’s and enter the next half of my life. The word “less” kept coming to mind. I know that minimalism is the all the rage now and believe me, there are times when I want to just get rid of all the stuff in my house. However, I began thinking outside the box of “less.” To have less to have more of what really matters.

Less and More

• worrying and anxiety, more praying and faith

• checking out on social media, more focused on the people right in front of me

• distracted living, more being present in my life- I don’t want to miss anything!

• buying stuff, more being content with what I have

• complaining and griping, more gratitude and joy

• listening to the world, more of really listening to the Lord

I could go on and on but you get the picture. Life is too short to be focused on the more. A few days after Christmas, I saw on FB where a friend of mine passed away suddenly. I literally lost my breath for a minute when I saw her husband’s post. They were cottage parents at one time at the children’s home where I used to work and we both had a passion for foster care and adoption- they had adopted a sibling group from foster care. I have loved reading Joseph’s posts on FB about Stephanie and her faith. Their family was planning to go full time living in an RV, traveling the country and homeschooling. They were planning to put their house on the market a few weeks after she passed away and had literally sold almost everything they owned. Now a father was having to start over with 4 children- living a life that none of them had planned. Talk about living with less, but really living with so much more- the hope of Jesus Christ.

John 3:30 says “He must become greater, I must become less.” I’ve been reminded through this verse that less really is more.

Don't Walk Alone

I had no idea it’s been since July since I’ve posted! It’s been quite the change with school starting and my little one in kindergarten. I’ve had lots of blog post ideas but it’s been hard to get them out because of time and honestly, it’s just been a hard season.

We’re in the adoption process for baby #2 and this journey has been a long one that seems filled with one delay or setback after another. You name it, it’s happened. Despite the delays, God has proven Himself faithful time and time again. The most recent setback came with updating our homestudy. We found that we wouldn’t be able to use the same social worker who did our update and it would require switching to a different agency. It’s a long story but we ended up having to start entirely over with our new agency, which includes more expense and delays us being able to present to any potential adoption situations until everything is current. Last week was not a good week but God reminded me of how He speaks to us through other believers and our circumstances.

My husband and I have some dear friends, E and A, who have also adopted. A little backstory on how God ordains friendships. Nearly 10 years ago, I spoke at a church about adoption and foster care. E and A were there that Sunday. Fast forward a few years later and I’m attending church with my now husband and we end up in the same Sunday School class as E and A. She remembered hearing me speak years earlier. They were so supportive of our adoption journey and little did we know that at the time God was working in their hearts about adoption. We brought our son home and then 2 years later, they bring home their precious little boy. A and I have walked through some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows together with adoption.

I was talking with her last week about all that had been happening with our adoption. Well, talking and I was mostly crying. She was silent for a minute and then she said, “ I remember sitting across from someone in Starbucks when I had hit the wall with our adoption. She looked at me and told me that it was quite possible that our baby had not even been conceived yet and that God’s timing is perfect. I didn’t want to hear that at all but it was spoken from a place of great love and truth. So I’m turning the table and speaking those words to you. Maybe your baby isn’t even conceived yet.” I choked back the tears as I vividly remember that night at Starbucks. I was in awe that God would use the words that I spoke to someone to later comfort me.

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 (NIV): Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

God never wastes a hurt. He is the ultimate Comforter. He comforts us so that we can share the comfort that we’ve experience with others who need it. A and I had both experienced deep heartache and suffering. However we weren’t alone in our suffering. Not only was God with us in our pain, but He gave us the gift of each other. We were both able to help each other because one of us had walked aside the other and vice versa. I was able to give her hope because I had experienced first hand God moving mountains and seen how perfect His timing was. She was able to give me the same hope because she had walked the same road. We were never meant to walk life alone.

The God Who Sees

At the core of every human being is the need to be seen, to be fully known, valued and loved. We seek to have this need fulfilled by human standards. This can often lead to a vicious and unhealthy cycle and poor choices. We look for it in marriage, friendships, dating relationships, the pursuit of success, etc. The truth is that only God can truly fill this need (I absolutely believe that He can use marriage and relationships to show Himself to us but only He can truly meet the need and fill the void.) 

There’s someone else who had the same core need to be seen and known- Hagar. A brief background on Hagar: she was the Hebrew slave girl that Sarah gave to Abraham in Sarah’s attempt to bear Abraham a child. (Genesis  16 ). Hagar became pregnant and despised Sarah. Sarah blamed Abraham and Abraham told Sarah to handle the situation. Sarah mistreated Hagar and Hagar fled. Hagar soon found herself wandering in the desert- alone, tired and pregnant. The only thing she found was a spring of water . The Lord sent an angel to find Hagar and the angel spoke to Hagar about the child she was carrying.  God found Hagar in the desert- He saw truly saw her: her heart, her need, who she was. Genesis 16:13 -14(NIV) says “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: You are the God who sees me for she said “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi..” Beer Lahai Roi means “well of the Living One who sees me.” From this we get the Hebrew name for God- El Roi: the God who sees. 

Life is hard, even when things may be going good. Maybe I should rephrase that and say living life is hard. Living the life that God has called us to live daily. I often find myself asking God , “Do you really see me? Do you really know me?” Deep down, I know that He does but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. Recently, God reminded me that He really does see me. It came through people who probably didn’t even realize the impact and significance of a small gesture. One was a text message from a friend that just said that she was thinking about me and missed me. Another was a Facebook message from another friend sharing with me something that God had laid on her heart to tell me- it could not have come at a better time and the words were exactly what I needed to hear. Then I got a text message from a friend wanting to meet for coffee. These were simple yet tangible reminders to me that God does see me- He knows me, knows my heart and knows the things that I don’t even know about myself- after all, He created me. The artist always knows their creation. 

I don’t know where you are today. You could be like Hagar and are on your own journey through the wilderness- a journey that may include loneliness, suffering and pain. You could be like me- living everyday life but needing a little reminder of God’s love for you. No matter where you are or what you are facing, trust that God is “El Roi” and that He sees you. 

The Enough Trap

The Enough Trap

This is one of the blog posts that has been rolling around in my head for a while but I wasn’t sure exactly how to write it, explain it, etc. However, the topic has come up in blog posts, pod casts, social media, etc so I figured that was the Holy Spirit’s way of gently nudging me to write it. 

Enough. Such a tiny little word but one holds so much impact in our lives, especially as women. Webster defines the word enough as “adequate, for the want or need, sufficient for the purpose or desire.” Let’s face it- we are bombarded on a daily basis with the reminders that we are not enough, we don’t have enough, and our inadequacies because we don’t have it all. 

The feelings of not being enough are not lost on me- it’s a constant battle. And if I’m honest, most days I don’t feel that I am enough. “Am I enough as a wife? Enough as a mom? Enough in my job, even when I don’t know what I’m doing??” Enough of what??

At the beginning of the year, I attended a women’s conference by myself (highly recommend doing this- it was a great way to recharge!) and I heard one of the speakers talk about this exact topic.  Lisa Seaton https://www.cityfirst.church/contributors/lisa-seaton/) talked about how because of God, we have everything that we need to live the abundant life. As she talked about this, the phrase “the enough trap” came to mind. It was a like the blinders came off and I could see clearly- the idea of being enough is a trap. It’s a trap that the enemy uses to keep us from living the life that God called us to live. The trap steals our joy, is the gateway to comparison (which is the thief of joy!) and paralyzes us into believing the lies that the enemy whispers into our ears. 

One verse that she used was 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV) “ His divine power has given us everything that we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” Everything. Nothing more and nothing less. I think sometimes we forget that if we are believers in Christ, we have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us. The Spirit enables us to live the abundant life in Christ. 

The truth is: we will never be enough. We are human, we live in a fallen world and it’s a constant battle against the flesh. John 15: 5 says (NIV) says: “I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.” When we strive to fit into a completely unrealistic mold of being enough, we are not fully depending on the Lord. Instead, we’re relying on our own strength, our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6) and our selves. And we fail every.single.time. 

So how do we get out of the “enough trap”? 

1. Recognize that we are human and without Jesus, we are nothing. ( see John 15:5)

2. Look at your measuring stick. What are you using to measure “being enough?” We all know that most of what people post on social media are just the highlight reels and not real life. Check your social media feeds- who you’re following, what posts you read, etc. If it’s leading you into the enough trap, turn around. Unfollow them, hide the posts, whatever you need to do. Comparison is the thief of joy.

3. Have an attitude of gratitude.   The antidote to comparison is gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” It says in all things and not for all things. It’s hard to be thankful in the middle of trials and hard stuff, but that’s what we’re commanded to do.

4. Ask God to change your heart. This is something that only God can do and it really is the key to getting out of the enough trap. I know I struggle with really being honest with God because part of me is like “He knows my heart, He knows it all anyway.” This is true but God desires for us to be in relationship with Him and an important part of any relationship is communication. 

   There’s a worship song that I first heard in college and it’s still one of my favorites. It’s called “Enough” by Chris Tomlin. 

Here’s the first verse: 

All of You is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need, You satisfy me with Your love. And all I have in You is more than enough.

So let’s remember that in Him, we have all that we need. He is enough. 

Hope

Almost 8 years ago, I got a tattoo. I was turning 30, still single and for the first time in that season, really enjoying and living in it. I wanted something to mark that milestone but also to remind me of God’s faithfulness in my life. I chose the word “hope". The design was simple but to me it signified the thread of hope that God had woven throughout my life.

Recently, I came across a scripture about hope and it really got my wheels turning. Romans 4 talks a lot about Abraham and his faith as he waited God’s promises to be fulfilled. I came across a passage that I had probably read a hundred times before but this time, it stirred something deep inside me.

“Against ALL (emphasis mine) hope, Abraham , in hope, believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “Your offspring be.” Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead since he was about 100 years old and Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet, he did not waiver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He promised.” Romans 4:18-21 (NIV)

Abraham had both faith and hope. The definition of faith is complete trust in God. The definition of hope is to desire something with confident expectation of it’s fulfillment. The first part of the verse says that “against all hope, Abraham in hope believed.” Against all hope might as well be translated to against human odds and standards. Many times, our circumstances feel hopeless. No way out, no solution. Abraham believed with hope that God would fulfill the promise.

Abraham never weakened in his faith or waiver through unbelief. He had a choice- trust God or not. Trusting in God actually strengthened his faith. One thing that stood out to me in this passage was that it described Abraham “as good as dead” and Sarah’s womb as dead. “Good as dead” means that something might as well be dead, it’s old or doesn’t work anymore- but there was still a slim chance it could. What struck me was that Sarah’s womb was described as dead. No chance of carrying life. Talk about truly trusting that God could bring life from something that was dead.

While studying this passage, something else struck me. Faith (trust in God) leads to hope (confidence that God will keep His promises). You can’t have hope if you don’t have faith. It made sense to me now why in 1 Corinthians 13 the “love chapter” that says these three remain, faith is listed first. Faith is the foundation for trust, the foundation for hope. Faith and hope go hand in hand.

There are so many situations where all hope seems lost. I heard a quote from someone who went through hospice care with her family members: “As long as there is breath, there is hope.” As believers, the Holy Spirit is inside of us- the air we breathe. Hope is in us. Hebrews 6:19 says that "…we have this hope as anchor.” This anchor of hope is a promise of God’s faithfulness. As the hymn “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less” says, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. “