Unanswered Prayers?

One of my favorite concerts ever was seeing Garth Brooks at the PMAC at LSU. I was probably about 10 years old and our seats were at the very top of the arena. It was a night that I will never forget especially because to end the concert, Garth swung (well attempted to swing!) across the crowd on a rope swing and it broke- sending him toppling into crowd. One of the songs he sang that night was “Unanswered Prayers.” You probably know it and can hear him singing it in your head, especially if you are a child of the 90’s like me.

“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

I get the point of the song, especially because it’s written about running into an old high school flame and being thankful you didn’t marry them. :) I was thinking recently about a lot of prayers that I’ve prayed recently and over the years and how at the time they seemed to be unanswered. In reality, they were answered. The answer wasn’t the one that I wanted or was even looking for. I think that God always answers our prayers but the answer may be “yes”, “no”, “not now or wait” or answer that is completely different (and better) than what we expect.

Here are a few truths that I’ve discovered recently about God answering prayers.

1. When we pray, God always answers us.

Jeremiah 33:3 says “Call (ask- emphasis mine) to me and I will answer (respond) to you and I will tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know.”

2. The answer may not be what we think it will be or should be. After all, He is God and we are not.

A verse that I have clung to a lot lately is Isaiah 55:8: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways.” I learned a long time ago that I can’t figure out why God does what He does- I just have to trust Him and that His ways are perfect and so much better than mine.

3. When we pray, we have to have faith that God will answer us, but we have to realize that the answer may not be what we think it should be or even expect. We have to trust God with not only the burden but with the outcome. In all of His wisdom and sovereignty, He sees the bigger picture.

Proverbs 3: 5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

4. God will give us what we need to live with His answer. It may not make sense to us at all but He is faithful, especially if the answer isn’t what we hoped it would be.

“For My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9. When we pray, we are admitting our weakness and our desperate need for God because we are powerless on our own.

5.Trusting God when the answer is “no” or a completely different answer can knock the wind out of us and confuse us even more than ever. We have to set our hearts and our focus on the Giver (God alone) and on Jesus- not just the gift or the outcome.

Hebrews 12:2 says “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross and scorned its shame to sit at the right hand of God.”

Believe me, I’m writing these truths to myself! Our adoption process has taught me so much about God always answering our prayers, even if the answer isn’t what I thought it would be. A few weeks ago, we presented our profile and were waiting to hear back from the attorney. The wait time on this one was a little longer than normal and while waiting, we received another situation that needed a decision on presenting very soon. We can’t present to two situations at once and we knew that we would be hearing back from the first one pretty quickly. We wrestled on what to do if we weren’t chosen for the first situation. There’s a lot of things that I can’t share about it but trust me, when I say we wrestled about what to do. We realized that even if we could present to this second one, we probably weren’t the best fit for the situation. With every situation, we pray that God would provide the right family, even if it’s not us. A few days after we said no, I got on FB for a few minutes (on a FB break right now) and I saw a post from a friend of mine from high school who is also adopting- they had a possible match. I knew that they were using the same attorney and I immediately wondered if it was the same situation. I quickly messaged her and asked if this was the same situation and she said yes! In that moment, I realized that God had answered my prayers. This situation really needed a stay at home mom and my friend is that. I couldn’t be mad or upset just because the answer wasn’t what I wanted. God had answered my prayers for a family- it just wasn’t our family and that was okay. So I’m thanking God for answered prayers too.

Don't Walk Alone

I had no idea it’s been since July since I’ve posted! It’s been quite the change with school starting and my little one in kindergarten. I’ve had lots of blog post ideas but it’s been hard to get them out because of time and honestly, it’s just been a hard season.

We’re in the adoption process for baby #2 and this journey has been a long one that seems filled with one delay or setback after another. You name it, it’s happened. Despite the delays, God has proven Himself faithful time and time again. The most recent setback came with updating our homestudy. We found that we wouldn’t be able to use the same social worker who did our update and it would require switching to a different agency. It’s a long story but we ended up having to start entirely over with our new agency, which includes more expense and delays us being able to present to any potential adoption situations until everything is current. Last week was not a good week but God reminded me of how He speaks to us through other believers and our circumstances.

My husband and I have some dear friends, E and A, who have also adopted. A little backstory on how God ordains friendships. Nearly 10 years ago, I spoke at a church about adoption and foster care. E and A were there that Sunday. Fast forward a few years later and I’m attending church with my now husband and we end up in the same Sunday School class as E and A. She remembered hearing me speak years earlier. They were so supportive of our adoption journey and little did we know that at the time God was working in their hearts about adoption. We brought our son home and then 2 years later, they bring home their precious little boy. A and I have walked through some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows together with adoption.

I was talking with her last week about all that had been happening with our adoption. Well, talking and I was mostly crying. She was silent for a minute and then she said, “ I remember sitting across from someone in Starbucks when I had hit the wall with our adoption. She looked at me and told me that it was quite possible that our baby had not even been conceived yet and that God’s timing is perfect. I didn’t want to hear that at all but it was spoken from a place of great love and truth. So I’m turning the table and speaking those words to you. Maybe your baby isn’t even conceived yet.” I choked back the tears as I vividly remember that night at Starbucks. I was in awe that God would use the words that I spoke to someone to later comfort me.

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-7 (NIV): Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

God never wastes a hurt. He is the ultimate Comforter. He comforts us so that we can share the comfort that we’ve experience with others who need it. A and I had both experienced deep heartache and suffering. However we weren’t alone in our suffering. Not only was God with us in our pain, but He gave us the gift of each other. We were both able to help each other because one of us had walked aside the other and vice versa. I was able to give her hope because I had experienced first hand God moving mountains and seen how perfect His timing was. She was able to give me the same hope because she had walked the same road. We were never meant to walk life alone.