As I get older, I’m realizing that I’m more of a control freak than I care to admit. I live by a “to do list” both on paper and in my head. I panic when something on the list doesn’t get done or when the list is endlessly growing. The past few months have shown me a glaring but harsh reality: I don’t really have control over anything at all. I can only control how I respond and react to the changing situations.
Yesterday was a crazy day at work. As I walked back into my office to wrap up the day, daycare called. Moms always have this sense of dread when they see that daycare is calling. My little one had gotten sick at daycare I needed to come get her. It was an hour until school was out and I had to scramble to get my son picked up from school. I couldn’t go to work tomorrow because she had to be 24 hours without vomiting. This is a really busy time at work so missing one day is like missing three. I was scrambling in my head to rearrange things and trying not to be aggravated or annoyed in the process.
This morning, I had a few minutes before everyone else was awake. My devotional was about how our hearts desire is not always what God wants and that selfishness is sin. Ouch. As I was reading, I simply prayed, “God, help me to embrace today.” I was able to take my son to school. I loaded up baby girl and went for a walk at the park where I was able to invite someone to church. I got to catch up with a dear friend. I was able to play with A and not worry about what wasn’t getting done. A has recently started crawling and is ON THE MOVE. I was constantly corralling her while trying to do laundry and a few other house things. We both took great naps. I had a choice today: grumble and complain about what couldn’t be done or embrace the unexpected moments and blessings of the day.
We really don’t have any control over our days. Sure, we can plan it out, block it on the calendar, fill it with a mile long to do list. but we fail to forget Who numbers our days. James 4:13-15 (NIV) says : Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
I’m learning to loosen the grip on my plans and come before the Lord with open hands and an open heart. Here’s to embracing the day.