I’ve learned that marriage and parenting are holy sandpaper- they reveal the good and the bad parts of our hearts, sand away the rough edges and bad spots, and shape us to be more like Christ. Recently, I had one of these “holy sandpaper” moments.
A few years ago, my husband and son gave me a beautiful bracelet for Christmas. It was handmade from Nepal and was a perfect combination of wood and beads. It’s my favorite bracelet because it came from World Vision and it was the first present that I got as a mommy. My little boy knows that it’s my favorite and he calls it my “special bracelet.”
A few weeks ago, I was in the back of the house and M was watching television. A few minutes later, he comes running to the door, crying hard. All I could make out was “your special bracelet..I broke it.” I went into the kitchen, expecting to find a huge mess of tiny beads. Instead, I saw a small pile of beads and one heartbroken little boy. His first words were “Are you mad at me?” In that moment, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t be mad. His little face and broken heart said enough for me. I scooped him up, held him close and told him that it was an accident. He tried to explain to me what happened. I then realized that I had left the bracelet on the counter. I told him that it was an accident and Mommy made a mistake for leaving it on the counter. He knew right where it went in my jewelry cabinet and he took it to the cabinet. I told him repeatedly that he was more important to me than a piece of jewelry. We then made a game of cleaning up the beads.
Immediately when I got eye level with him, I had a mental picture of grace and how much the Father loves His children. I could almost hear God whisper to my heart “See, this how much I love you- arms open wide.” When I could have been angry, my first response was to comfort him. How many times have I given my heavenly Father reasons to be mad at me, furious even? He doesn’t yell or point out my mistakes. Instead, He holds me close, wipes my tears and then tells me how much He loves me. I’m not saying that He overlooks sin, but He doesn’t heap coals of condemnation. Instead, He gives grace- not getting what we deserve. He sent Jesus to pay the price of our sin. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:5 (NIV)
After we had cleaned everything up, M wanted me to cut off the broken string on the bracelet. I couldn’t do it. Now every time I wear my special bracelet, I have a tangible reminder of God’s grace and love towards me.