I turned the big 40 last week and as my son has constantly reminded me “Mom, you’re 40 NOW!” (as if I needed any reminding-I’ve got the gray hair to prove it. :) ) I’ve had a hard time picturing what my life would look like at 40, probably because my life has never looked like anything like I pictured it to be- ever. I had my life all planned out after college and the Lord quickly yanked the pen out of my hand (it was really His pen to begin with) and flipped the script. I didn’t get married until I was 31, infertility, had a baby at 40, moving after I swore I would never move, etc.
My husband and I were talking about the last 10 years and what the Lord has done in our lives, as a couple and individuals. If I really thought about it, I’ve probably lived half of my life up until this point. Both of my grandparents lived well into their 80’s so it’s quite possible. I literally have everything that I spent years praying for right in front of me. I told him that if I never had another prayer answered, I would be okay with that. Now, granted, that doesn’t mean that I will never have anything to pray about but gone is the striving to have everything perfect, falling apart because things aren’t going how I planned, and the fear of the unknown. What is this is strange feeling? Contentment. Contentment is defined as the state of being satisfied. Feeling content at the “halfway point” of life? Is that even possible?
I think contentment is often elusive because we live in a world where nothing is enough, there’s always something bigger or better, we’re focused on the next step and not in the now, etc. I don’t know if we will ever fully experience contentment the way God desires for us on this side of heaven. However, I think He allows us to to experience contentment as a way of reminding us that apart from Him, nothing will ever satisfy us.
Paul sums up contentment in Philippians 4. “ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:11-13 NIV
If anyone had a hard time finding contentment, it would have been Paul. Shipwrecked, beaten, run out of town after town, just to name a few reasons. I think Paul was able to find contentment because he saw every single need that he had, whether big or small, met by God. I’m sure Paul may have wondered what he signed up for when he decided to follow Jesus. “I didn’t sign up for this. This is not what I pictured life would be like.” However, he never wavered in his obedience to follow God and he experienced life beyond his expectations (Ephesians 3:20)
We can experience true contentment when we realize that our true satisfaction comes from Christ alone, when we seek the Giver more than the gift. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 NIV God truly knows what’s best for us and He sees our heart’s desires- after all He put them there. He wants us to find true satisfaction in Him alone.
So here’s to living the next 40 or however many years that God has ordained seeking contentment.