I’m going to be honest- I’ve been in a season lately where God just felt (key word: felt) mean. This adoption journey has just been so hard and filled with a lot of unknowns. We’ve presented our profile to expectant mothers at least a dozen times (I’ve actually lost count of how many!) and at least a dozen times, we’ve heard “no.” There were a few situations where it really felt like this could be our yes. It’s really hard not to get your hopes up with each situation, playing it out in your mind and already loving the child attached to the situation. With every no, it felt like God was dangling the desires of our heart right in front of us, only to jerk it away as quickly as it came. Bitterness starts to set in and the doubts become constant companions.
I was talking to a friend the other day about this and she said something to me that I know was from the Holy Spirit. She said, “Have you ever thought about every no not being a denial, but rather God protecting your hearts?” I could literally hear the chains of the lies that I had believed pop off my heart and the scales fall of my eyes. Suddenly, I realized that God wasn’t being mean- He was being a good Father and protecting His children. I remember thanking God for His protection after our adoption scam- it could have been so much worse than it was. As the months passed on, I forgot about this. All I could focus on was the “no” and how God was just being mean. With adoption, anything can happen and it’s often at the last minute and unexpected. God can see the entire picture, while I can only see the snapshot.
Here’s truth to counter the lie that God is being mean when we hear no:
God’s plans are for our good. Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans for your hope and future.” God gave these words to the children of Israel before they were exiled to Babylon. Even though they were going to be in exile for 70 years, God still had plans for them- despite the hardship they faced. It’s the same with us.
God works all things out for our good. (Romans 8:28) One of my favorite names for God is Redeemer. He has redeemed my sin, my shame, my brokenness by sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sin. God wastes nothing- no experience, no pain, no trial- it all points us to back to Him.
God doesn’t withhold any good thing. Psalm 84:11: “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” I truly believe that God has our best interests at heart. He knows exactly what we need (what we want to, but definitely need!)
God gives good gifts to His children. James 1:17-'“ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. God isn’t going to give us anything that isn’t good for us- that isn’t something we need or that will not be a blessing to us. He delights in the gift giving- think about the greatest Gift of all that He gave us through Jesus.
His ways are not our ways. Isaiah 55:8: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.” I have clung to this promise throughout this journey. There are some things that we will never understand this side of heaven, but God is sovereign.
I’m so thankful for a God who loves me enough to only give me the very best, what He knows I truly need- not what I think I want. He’s not being mean, He’s just being a good Father.
