I’m a relationship person. I guess it’s the Ennegram 2 in me- but I love building relationships and connecting with people. I have a lot of a people that I would consider to be friends but honestly, I have a very small tight circle of people that I consider to be close friends. These are “my people”- the ones that get me, the ones that I can go to for prayer and the ones that aren’t afraid to speak the truth in love. We all need those people in our lives.
One of my favorite Bible stories as a child (and still is today!) was the story of the friends that brought their friend to Jesus by lowering him through the roof. I’m not really sure why it stuck with me, maybe because it seemed so strange that the men were climbing on the roof. This story paints an excellent picture of true friendship.
Mark 2: 1-5: “A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door and he preached the word to them. Some men came and brought to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” (NIV)
There’s a lot that we don’t know regarding the backstory of the man and what led his friends to do what they did. How long had the man been paralyzed? What was going through the friends’ minds as they thought about how they could get their friend to Jesus?
Here are some things that we do know:
The friends saw that their friend was in need. His condition was not hidden to them. They saw a need and wanted to help their friend.
They knew who to go to help their friend. It’s obvious that the friends had heard about Jesus and knew what He could do for their friend. It’s also pretty likely that they had witnessed Jesus minister to others and heard him teach. There’s nothing worse when you have a friend in need and you have absolutely no idea how to help them or even where to begin.
They were willing to take a risk to help their friend. Jesus was teaching in a building or home that did not belong to him or the friends. I can only imagine what the friends were thinking as they tore the roof off of a building that did not belong to them. I’m sure the owner of the building was wondering what in the world was happening. Sometimes, we have to step out of our comfort zones to help our friends. I’m in no way saying that you should put yourself in danger- be smart and safe. However, there are times that it is risky to help our friends. What if we offend them? What if they don’t want to listen to what we have to say? We can’t worry about that. If God is calling us to help our friend, then we have to put fear and emotions aside and trust Him with the outcome.
They were willing to get their hands dirty. Let’s face it- life is messy. Friendships are messy. Sometimes, we have to get a little dirt on our hands when it comes to our relationships. It’s real life. The homes back in that day were different than what we’re used to and the roof was made of mud bricks- hardened clay. I can picture in my head the friends using their hands to pry open the roof to bring their friend to Jesus. The dirt breaking apart, their hands and nails covered with dirt and grime.
I’ve had situations where I’ve been like the friends. Friends that have faced hardships and challenges where they truly need a friend to step in and fight with them. I’ve also been like the paralyzed man- I needed the help of my friends. Not that my friends could do anything to physically help change the situation, but I needed friends that would walk with me through the pain and difficult circumstances. The friends that prayed for me when I didn’t know what to pray or truly did not have the emotional energy to open my mouth to pray.
My husband and I are in the adoption process for the second time and this journey has been a rough one. A few months ago, we were victims of an adoption scam. Thankfully, we were able to recognize what was really going on early in the process but that did not change the heartbreak we were experiencing. I can remember going to church right after we found out everything. At the time, we had only told a few people about the potential match but were unsure of what to tell people now. I was in our ladies class that morning and I tried to act like everything was fine. I couldn’t hold it together any longer and shared what had happened. At the invitation time during the service, a dear friend walked all the way across the church, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the altar. She began to pray for me but also prayed over me. I’ve been prayed for before but something about this was different. I later described to my husband that it was like my head had a lid on it and her words were going in straight to my heart. Her words were sinking deep into my broken heart and it was like balm for a wound. I don’t remember all that she prayed but I just know it was something very different. She was willing to bring me to the feet of Jesus when I was too weak to bring myself. She “tore off the roof” and carried me to Jesus. That is radical friendship. May we be like those friends and not be afraid to meet the needs of our friends.